Ambrosio, Just…NoOkay, I thought for sure Lorenzo would bust through the crypt door and save Antonia’s “virtue” at the last second. Nope.
He gradually made himself Master of her person, and desisted not from his prey, till he had accomplished his crime and the dishonour of Antonia.And once Ambrosio gets what he wants, he has no use for her. In fact, he blames her for what he did. “What seduced me into crimes, whose bare remembrance makes me shudder? Fatal Witch! was it not thy beauty?” Ambrosio, you piece of shit.
|Me to Ambrosio|
Matilda runs in yelling how they are all DOOMED! because the peasants are revolting. Practical as ever, she tries to stab Antonia, and get her out of the way. In the kerfuffle, Antonia escapes. Lorenzo’s crew hears her screaming, but Ambrosio catches her and stabs her to shut her up. She dies in Lorenzo’s arms. But first, this wee bit of loveliness:
She told him that had She still been undefiled She might have lamented the loss of life; But that deprived of honour and branded with shame, Death was to her a blessing: She could not have been his Wife, and that hope being denied her, She resigned herself to the Grave without one sigh of regret.Oh boy.
Happy Endings for the Dude BrosDon’t mourn too hard for Lorenzo though. Agnes, we finally know for sure it’s Agnes, is nursed back to health by the Hot Nun, Virginia. Agnes tells her tale of woe. The Prioress wanted to punish Agnes the old fashioned way by nearly killing her, but keeping her barely alive and suffering so she can think about what she’s done.
Lorenzo replaces Antonia in his heart with Hot Nun. One sexy virgin is as good as another, I guess. Raymond recovers and claims Agnes for a wife. And they all lived happily ever after.
The Devil Goes Down to MadridNot so for Ambrosio who is caught immediately by the authorities. Both he and Matilda are tortured by the Inquisition. After a few days, Ambrosio is in his cell when Matilda appears before him. She's free! She made a deal with the devil- and he can too! All he has to do is read this passage in this book backwards and Voila! Freedom!
At first he resists, but this is Ambrosio so it doesn’t last long. He calls up the devil who is all “WHO HAS CALLED ME?!” Ambrosio requests to be let out of jail. The devil is down with this, all he wants is Ambrosio’s soul.
Ambrosio gets all offended as only Ambrosio can and berates the devil. The devil is all- Dude, you called me! “Call me no more till resolved to accept my offers!”
He stews in jail a bit more, until he hears soldiers coming for him. This time he calls the devil and for sure he agrees to sell his soul for freedom.
The devil takes him to the edge of a cliff and laughs at him. Ambrosio was about to be pardoned! (Wuh?) But wait there’s more- Elvira was his mother and Antonia his sister. (Info we already knew.) Plus, since he didn’t ask for anything besides freedom, the devil is going to push him off this cliff and collect what he’s owed right away. The End!
This book was bonkers!
|Drake's interpretation of The Monk through dance|
Oh, and whatever happened to Don Christoval? I hope he found a nice girl to have normal times with.
Fun Fact: The word bosom appears 136 times (compare the word monk: 155). About once every 3 pages. Think of it this way: we read this in 5 parts, assume you read each part in one go, if you took a shot every time the word appeared that would be 27 shots per reading. You could be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. So don't do that!
This was great! I enjoyed the Monkalong. Thanks to Alice for hosting and all the other readers who discussed this every week. I hope you've got your Demon Monk costumes ready for Halloween!