|Me to everyone|
The Saga of AntoniaAmbrosio finally sets out to assault Antonia, who’s sleeping. Elvira finds him standing over Antonia with his pants down (literally). She doesn’t alert the authorities or ring a bell or something, she stands there saying, “A-ha! I knew it!” and proceeds to waste all her energy telling him how she’s going to ruin him. The maid’s room is right next door! She could throw a shoe or something. Somehow she can yell at Ambrosio but not loud enough for the Flora the maid to hear. Sweet Jebus, this was so frustrating!
When she does finally start yelling, Ambrosio chokes her to death. The next morning Antonia finds her dead mother, and her screams wake up Flora- oh my god, why didn’t you hear Elvira the night before- who gets the doctor. Probably the worst doctor in the world, because how can you mistake strangulation for natural causes. It’s a good thing they didn’t have CSI: Madrid back in those days, because Lewis would not get away with that now.
|All old timey doctors|
While she waits for Leonella, her mother’s ghost visits her and tells her that she’ll see her in three days. Antonia freaks out and gets the brain fever. The landlady, a superstitious lady, runs to Ambrosio and begs for help, because she doesn’t want to be haunted. The story she tells involves Elvira eating chicken on a Friday because aren’t those Catholics foolish- hahaha, yes, Lewis we get it, stop beating that dead horse.
Ambrosio has gotten over his first feelings of guilt once it appears that he won’t get arrested for murder and remembers that he never got to raping. Matilda is still helping this jack ass (WHY?) and gives him a knock out drug to slip into Antonia. She must have gone to the same school as Snow White’s stepmom. Antonia will appear to be dead, but won’t be and then Ambrosio can hide her somewhere until she wakes up. Great plan, guys!
|What could possibly go wrong?|
Lorenzo and the Mystery of the Crying CryptLorenzo is told by a nun via his servant to get an arrest warrant for the Prioress. Agnes was most definitely murdered. Lorenzo heads to the Sisters of St Clare with the authorities during a feast day so that Lewis can insult the Catholics some more.
Lorenzo’s nun yells “J’ACCUSE!” at the Prioress and tells everyone that she forced Agnes to drink poison. I am confused by why the Prioress hates Agnes so much. She’s become a Bond villain. She even has her own minions. Lorenzo is about to send her to the Spanish Inquisition. Because...
|(Sorry, I had to.)|
There he finds some nuns hiding from the mob. They are also afraid because they hear wailing. It’s okay though because it’s probably the ghost who lost his hand by touching the saint’s statue, the Prioress told them all about it. Catholics, amirite? Lorenzo is suspicious and moves the statue to reveal a secret tunnel.
At the end of the tunnel is the source of the crying, a emaciated woman holding a dead baby. He doesn’t rush over the her saying, “I’ll save you!” but hides behind a column and let’s her lament about her starvation for 10 minutes. At no point does he think this could be Agnes. His pregnant sister who the nuns hid away! How many pregnant nuns does he think they keep hidden? When he does carry her out of tunnel, he doesn’t recognize her. I understand Lewis is trying to increase the suspense, but this isn’t the way. It just makes Lorenzo look stupid! Lewis you are a terrible writer!!!!!!!!
This whole section is….
To sum up: everyone in The Monk is an idiot.
Matilda is wasting her brilliant diabolical mind on Ambrosio. He can’t do anything right. Why would the devil want this duffus?
There is an abundance of songs and stories in these two chapters. I skipped them.
Was everyone else as frustrated with this section as I was?
See what everyone else thought over at Alice's blog (thanks, Alice!).