First things first, just like Canadians, all book bloggers know one another (Shout out to all the Bobs in Saskatchewan!).
We are all part of a Super Secret Society and have monthly meetings.
A virgin is sacrificed. Virgins are so hard to get these days. It’s a hardship.
We dance around a Fire of Vengeance and burn the books of our enemies. Sometimes there are marshmallows!
Through a complex ritual, we decide the fate of authors. Who will be destroyed? Who will be revered?
I’m not saying book bloggers eat babies but…
In case you didn’t get it, this is a (hopefully) humorous response to some authors’ ideas about what book bloggers do. Like we sit around plotting the demise of writers and books because we hate them so much. Or we’re all drunk with some imagined power, a power we do not actually have.
But really we’re just sitting here like…
Well, maybe not the stealing part though.