Happy Mother’s Day! What an emotional fraught holiday this is. I know people who lost their moms- recently or years ago, lost children, can’t have children they wanted, are estranged from their moms or children, can’t be with their children, all of that. Also, my heart goes out to those poor mothers in Nigeria. I can’t imagine what they are going through. Then there is just the usual parenting angst that seems to come with the holiday. Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day to honour and feel honoured but when I read some of the Facebook posts on this day (and others), I feel like I don’t measure up.
I know I’ve made mistakes. Those are the ones that make me feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and keep me awake at night. My daughter is at an age now where I can say to her, “Parents are people and people make mistakes, but we try to do our best.” She’s also at an age where she can tell me she thinks my rules are stupid. She gets it honestly though. She is as dramatic as I was at that age. I’ll even say, “I don’t know where she gets it,” when inside my head a voice whispers, “Meeeeeeeeeeeee!”
I don’t think that it helps that mothers are especially hard on each other. I get an extra dose since I have an only child. I unfollowed, and then blocked, a Mommy blogger on Twitter after she made a snide remark about parents of only children. Even though it made me angry, I did not engage in a Twitter war with this person. Nobody got time for that. I guess I’m getting better. I realized I didn’t have to listen to what someone else says and that their opinion is their opinion. If someone questions your parenting, it’s probably more about that person than you.
Then I think of my mother and what a jerk I was to her sometimes growing up. How did she not push me off a cliff?
Maybe just for today, let’s not be so hard on ourselves and each other. And for the record, I’m proud of my girl. She’s quite a personality.
So, after all that emotional unloading, I’ll tell you about my Mother’s Day. I bought a Fitbit (a device that counts your daily steps) for myself this week. I feel like I can’t sit down. I could be getting more steps in! My best days are my run days. I took one today. It was overcast and there was a breeze, just the weather I like to run in, and the air smelled like the ocean. Now I’m going to read more of The Three by Susan Lotz and have supper with my mom and family.