How I Killed the Tooth Fairy

Aw, parenting. Isn't it wonderful? The things we do to keep our kids happy. Like crawling around in the dark with our hand under their pillow searching for a discarded body part. Such is the role of the Tooth Fairy. I've performed as the Tooth Fairy a few times now. It's got to be the stupidest thing ever invented. Why would a fairy want teeth anyway?

Just the other day, my daughter mentioned out of the blue, that someone in her class told her that there was no tooth fairy, that the tooth fairy is really a parent. Thanks kid. I braced myself for The Question: Is that true? I don't like to lie; I'm terrible at it, for one thing. So, I answered a question with a question: What do you think? She looks at me dead in the eye and says, "I think it's the parents." All I have to do is Confirm or Deny. Confirm or Deny. I chose Confirm.

"Whaaaat?! There's no tooth fairy! Why did you tell me that? I didn't want to know that!" Tears. Oh. My. God. What have I done? She acted as though I ran over the tooth fairy with my car, backed up and ran her over again just for kicks. Now what to I do? I lie.

It's difficult to lie at this point. What do I say? I make up a story about being the real Tooth Fairy. She looks at me, "Mom, I know you're lying." Sigh.

So now I feel like crap. My daughter is so disappointed in me. But as my husband said to me later to put in perspective: it's just the stupid tooth fairy. It's not really the end of the world, I suppose. Hopefully, she won't be on Dr Phil talking about how I ruined her life by telling her about the tooth fairy. At least she doesn't know about this tooth fairy. Yikes!

All I know is when she asks about Santa or the Easter Bunny, I'm lying my ass off.

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