Crazy Fun With Madlibs

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I found this at 50 books, who found it here. If you want to do your own, Stop Here.... and come back later.

The Mizzen Mast

Bob was a harbour cleanup crew member. But Lenora, his wife, was a perfume sprayer. This made Bob feel jealous. One night after picking strawberries, he decided to marry a teenager.

After putting out his toke and finishing his beer, Bob felt chilly. He said to his wife, "Do you think I’m fat?"

Lenora said, "Do you think you’re fat?" This made Bob feel angry.
So he left her and went under a dock. While he was there, he saw a woman. She looked like a red two-door Ford. He decided to try to drink with her.
"Hey baby," he said.
"Go blank yourself," she said.
"Who pissed in your cornflakes?" he said
"Go to the bottom of a shoe," she said.
I’m already there, he thought. But he said, "Catch you on the flip side."
After that, he left. He walked to jail. On the way, he stopped to buy a cosmo. But instead he saw something he hadn’t expected. It was a mizzen mast. He surprised himself by stealing the mizzen mast. The shop owner didn’t notice. He was too busy climbing Mt St Helena’s to notice.
He took the mizzen mast home and showed it to Lenora, who was just putting out her cigar and finishing her screwdriver.
"What the sh*t is that?"she said.
"That’s just my ortishy."
"What the bitch is an ortishy?" she said.
"This," he said. And with that he used the mizzen mast to sing.